9A's perfect world: Fake nails, a police station and a sex shop

So this man from Greenwich Youth Services is doing a Citizenship Project with half my year 9 classes. Which sounds wonderful (no planning, no marking, no teaching! thought I) but actually I still have to be there to keep them in order, still have to mark, it isn't anything I couldn't do, the man's frequently late so I have to tread water with mad children until he turns up... above all, having a relatively normal looking youngish man in with 30 depraved girls is just silly... 9A were pelting him with bits of paper covered in hearts and their phone numbers within ten minutes.

Anyway. He gets them to design their "perfect world". I'm wandering round, keeping them on track, confiscating food and phones and earrings, catching thrown phone numbers mid air, etc etc etc, and I notice one group have decided that the three most important institutions in their perfect world would be a fake nail shop, a police station, and a sex shop.

Miss Jones: "Is that a shop where you buy knickers and things, Fiona?"

They all fall about laughing at my misconception

Fiona: "nah miss, you buy sex innit"

Miss Jones: "What, you buy someone to have sex with? Like a prostitute?"

Fiona: "Miss we aint rank, wot you take us for? Nah you just get the bed innit"

Miss Jones: "So, it's a bed shop?"

More hysterical laughter

Fiona: "Nah Miss you just use it for a while"

Miss Jones: "Ah, it's a hotel?"

At which point, they are subdued, realising something they thought was very riske has actually failed to be so. Ha. (Is it weird I feel awesome to have out-riske-ed children? hmmm)
We also got the following conversation:

Jessica: "Hey we can only have buff boys innit!"

Chynna: "Yeh we can make all dem ugly ones go to ugly boy island!"

Schekkitta: "hang on, we can't, cos we already wrote that we're having equality..."

I try to keep myself from leaping in the air. They've not only grasped and agreed on the importance of equality, they've realised it conflicts with outlawing ugly boys!! There's silence for a minute, before they begin to nod resignedly.

Chynna: "Spose thats more important innit, that equality thing... i mean if you balance it, i'd rather have some boys that aint that buff, than have millions of racists and that"

Schekkitta: "Yeh, an sometimes dem not so buff boys is funnier innit.

I quite love my job today.

1 comment:

  1. :o) This is verrrrry amusing. Thankyou.